The belly stays big to store the snacks, sweetie

My laptop is currently a very expensive space heater

Holy cannoli

His neck is doing a lot of heavy lifting

Fuji who? I only see two legends

Stealing hearts and seats at the stadium

aggressively avoiding eye contact

Evolution is wild, but housework is wilder

whooo do you think you are?

Did you offer him a snack from there too?

Gordon Ramsay would still call me an idiot sandwich

There are plenty of fish in the sea…

Explains why I’m my own biggest fan

a soft tissue issue

My budget is low, but my honesty is high

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