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The difference between campaigning and having the job:

Bill Gates, the criminal.

Everyone thinks I'm overdramatic...

Ronald Reagan wearing sweatpants while traveling on Air Force One.

Found this in my freezer...

Bropunzel...

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How I feel on every Monday

That one guy on Yelp...

Clint Eastwoof and Samuel L. Catson.

BOOP!

It's my birthday!

The biggest abortionist.

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