I'm not an alcoholic

Only upper class people have one of these at their parties

Reality.

CSS is awesome.

Things that have never, ever been said

You are 10x more likely to be bitten by an inhabitant of New York City than by a shark

How to deal with telephone salesmen

Ah crap.

I’ve always wondered this…

Best Childhood Toy. Ever.

Cat is out…

Hi, is this the taxidermist?

Babies are the worst roommates

If you think women are the weaker sex…

To catch the ball, you must be the ball.

Ebola may be gruesome but it’s not the biggest threat to Africa