Two pounds of pure, unadulterated cookie dough flavor

Four thousand dollars well spent right there

Goodbye responsibilities, hello sweet, sweet memory foam

It’s trying its best, okay? Leave it alone

Moving the laundry pile to a larger room

Neither of us has seen sunlight since Tuesday

My storage is full, but my heart is fuller

The majestic orange forest

Is there a gift shop at the top?

My love for Strawberry Kiwi knows no bounds

Everything is a metaphor if you’re bored enough

Autocorrect is the ultimate backseat driver

Celery is somewhere crying in a corner

My cat is going to explode

“Get in, loser, we’re going to the vet”

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