President Obama’s Joke-Filled Speech

did you know e.t. had a last name?

use a second towel to avoid getting butt on your face

mario is a hero for doing the same thing that makes shredder a villain. Make it make sense

he can’t hear you!

luigi is the queen in mario chess because he’s the nicest character and you always have to protect the nicest

it turns out bart and lisa simpson were both bald

peekaboo for adults

that awkward moment you make unavoidable eye-contact with a complete stranger

books are priceless treasures

there is no better way to fill the void of existence than with a crunchwrap supreme from taco bell

how you react to stepping on your pet vs how they react to stepping on you

Remember when Adam Scott revealed mark hammill never showed up to his childhood birthday part?

when you find out people prefer gin to whiskey…

a true test of will is knowing there are times in life when you have to reign in your desire to initiate a game of leap frog

text “omw” when you don’t have plans just to shake things up