Tbh I make enough for a family of four

The idiot on my shoulder.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.

How to get a man to want to have a baby.

Gondor calls for aid

Under[standing] bites.

The floor is lava.

Stephen Hawking enjoying zero gravity

The ducks are becoming sentient at municipal parks this week.

Beijing pizza delivery comes with the body temperature of everyone whom touched your pizza.

Forever alone Pringle.

They didn't train for this!

Hillary's reaction to all the accusations of lying

Excel can get it.

The No Place Like Home shoes.

Strawberry peach pi(e)