I knew the plot was familiar

I knew the plot was familiar

was he wrong, though?

was he wrong, though?

the please and the thank you

the please and the thank you

can we talk about how he named his cockatiel Stormageddon?

can we talk about how he named his cockatiel Stormageddon?

100 percent would still pet

100 percent would still pet

somebody once told me

somebody once told me

just get to the recipe already!

just get to the recipe already!

never trust a company that doesn’t use its own products

never trust a company that doesn’t use its own products

and they all somehow survived

and they all somehow survived

the look on the seagulls face is priceless

the look on the seagulls face is priceless

the most badass way to spread your ashes

the most badass way to spread your ashes

I was today’s years old

I was today’s years old

gather round, get comfy, i have a story to tell

gather round, get comfy, i have a story to tell

what we need here is more water, obviously

what we need here is more water, obviously

no matter where you go, you can’t escape your student loans

no matter where you go, you can’t escape your student loans

he’s a fucking fast learner

he’s a fucking fast learner