The Washington Monument’s shadow on Google Maps moves throughout the day

living my dream like there is no tomorrow

too old to be getting crushes on people, gonna forge some swords instead

the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist is just a comma

if you don’t want to take out a loan, consider robbing the bank instead

with this move, the war for the thermostat in the house came to a quick end

conference call bingo would be a dangerous drinking game

the coolest dog at the bar

Never thought to call TP “butt napkins” but here we are

all this meme has done is make me want to challenge death to a pillow fight even more than i already did

Are you coming to beer fest?

there’s always that one coworker. Are you that one coworker???

how game of thrones should have ended

having a dog this perfectly camouflaged would stress me out so much. still adorable though. 10/10 would pet if i could find him

Just go ahead and give this modern dragon movie masterpiece the oscar for best picture already

this is the real problem with letting astrology dictate your relationships