Ken M on the New Nintendo Console

this is how you know you’ve reached peak boring adulthood

The next guest on Maury Povich is… genetics!

a shower sounds so relaxing i tell myself before coming up with a fake argument in my head that i inevitably lose

gonna have to unfollow a lot of things, if we’re being honest

today on lies we tell other people to sound more impressive than we are

That’s because we are closed and other viral tweets

Paul Rudd isn’t just a superhero in the movies!

dead batteries free of charge

just when you think everything is perfect your bladder decides to speak up. every time.

wow, there are more lion statues than there are living lions in the wild. That’s… not good

when you really want to let someone know you like them, throw a piano

unlimited power!!!!!!!!!