I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

*carefully calculated terrorism*

It's tough being a guard

I'm not good at this...

The air would be considerably more useful in my lungs

Tinkerbell Twerk.

Thigh Gaps.

Hot wings and even hotter questions.

Be a better person, generally.

In an alternate universe

Firefighters, right now, are protecting Leavenworth, WA. They are posted every 100 yards looking for hot spots that jump the river.

Fck around and find out... citizen.

...ever vigilant

Worth it.

First rule of being a hipster.