What my best friend gave me for my birthday.

But you said it was freeeee

Got my apron for deaf covfefe night!

Resist contemptible people.

Utter disgust. Sheer disdain.

A few days into Oregon self-service…

The Oregon Apocalypse

Why didn’t Jesus think of that?

Disney flirting.

Crushing a 40k bar of gold is actually highly anticlimactic. And a bit depressing.

A fisherman’s life for me.

Amy Schumer started her film career as an extra on Judge Judy.

When you are too good at being dad

If I ever had a gun, I would want some dragons breath to go with it.

â‚¿ Life.

Don’t worry everyone! Help is on the way!