I’m not saying you’re ugly…

bats fly through the power of jazz hands. You can’t convince me otherwise

someone found this shell at the beach with barnacles around it that make it look like a heart

oh no is an understatement

just when you think everything is perfect your bladder decides to speak up. every time.

today on lies we tell other people to sound more impressive than we are

this is exactly why you don’t send texts with microsoft excel

a shower sounds so relaxing i tell myself before coming up with a fake argument in my head that i inevitably lose

Paul Rudd isn’t just a superhero in the movies!

this is how you know you’ve reached peak boring adulthood

pandas are the slowest creators of chaos known to humankind

if alanis morisette owned a landscaping company

when you really want to let someone know you like them, throw a piano