Nice to meet you

emotional support alligator

the “cool” police

purr-fect

Waste time with the fallout of amtrak tweeting “trains” with these one word repsonses

he had too many balls in the air

there’s no way a home made this soup

avoiding people in public is exhausting

live laugh lobotomy

mephisto signing off off of zoom

don’t give me a reason and i won’t get mad

these crocheted dolls will definitely murder you in your sleep

i live at the zoo now

ode de febreeze

all my problems can be blamed on astrology

we spent so much time preparing for the zombie apocalypse we never considered other options…