Thumbs. I want thumbs for my birthday…

they’ll definitely grow back

once you see it, you can’t unsee it

nothing is more romantic than getting on one knee while the waiter brings you more breadsticks

genius. dishonest, but genius

they really hate the moon

a good place to sit

the name’s mittens, murder mittens

death by roomba army

the hard part about divorce no one warns you about

life hack

right swipe

now your kids can suffer just like you!

men, do you accept the challenge?

he became the clickbait he wanted to read

try saying that five times fast!