Captain Kirk – Thug Life

How else could I get pregnant?

The best protester in Battery Park

Company that designs crash-test dummies has had to start making obese dummies to better represent American drivers

Call me a dictator, but it would save a lot of kids from terrible childhoods.

Breaking up over text is the worst

Words

When you hear her calling someone else a good boy

Health tips you actually want to hear.

Oh Captain My Captain

Shining, shimmering, splendid

Hope, The boy who was accused of being a witch. Now vs. a year ago

Pearls all day!

Yeah whatever makes you feel better.

NYPD escorting a raccoon out of a beauty salon #notmypolice

Fallout and the Office crossover