If there’s one thing my job has taught me

let’s break bread together

all is not well in waffleville

dolphinsarecool!3

robot vacuum issues

this description is way too accurate

turtle burglar

Quentin Tarantino makes the jump to television because he suddenly hates movies

you’ve got time

he doesn’t want to maim you, he’s just disappointed

oh so that’s what i’ve been doing wrong

anything can be a breakfast food if you eat it in the morning

whatever you do, don’t turn around

As Twitter goes the way of the dodo, here are the best “alternatives” to choose from, if you can call them that…

beefy

you have one life, don’t waste it trying to be a cat