Snail teeth

Resist contemptible people.

But you said it was freeeee

When you are too good at being dad

John Krasinski post-Dunder Mifflin

Boys in blue don’t appreciate my hue.

Why didn’t Jesus think of that?

â‚¿ Life.

Amy Schumer started her film career as an extra on Judge Judy.

Crushing a 40k bar of gold is actually highly anticlimactic. And a bit depressing.

The Oregon Apocalypse

Until next time.

Catch me with a 22 lbs opal colored like a pokeball

Utter disgust. Sheer disdain.

When You Hate Your Job But You Can’t Quit Because People Will Make Fun Of You

A few days into Oregon self-service…