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cheerios and bourbon
1036 AWESOME
42 WTW
62 BORING
may the comedic force be with you
bring back the cats!
royale burrito with cheese
Clever riddles without answers to test your mind, not body, but maybe soul
adding “italian mcdonald’s skeleton” to my bucket list
this is my emotional support steak
all it takes is the burden of being awake to set off my anxiety
this is how i became the fun uncle
why would you even have a cat if you’re not kissing their tiny soft forehead?
M. Night shyamalan memes because he wants you to knock at the cabin without giving credit to the original author
algebra is like onion pie
but unlike in a video game you can’t start the level over
fast and furious but folders on your computer – each sequel is the same
the power of positive affirmations
jurassic park holiday special
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Now that’s what I call a good boy.
It, uh.. found a way.
Ma’am are you trying to illegally import this salami?
Feed the people.
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Containerize your life.
Pass the marinara, won’t you?
Life is a hamster ball.
I once was lost, but now am found.
Pick your news gently.
I am orally fixated on your rocks.
Never go 100 percent good boy.
UV injection trials have officially begun.
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