Hot water brings out my inner lawyer

Guess I live outside this Target now

Shopping is easy when you ignore all color

“Pockets? No thanks”

:3

My brain treats bedtime like a talent show

“Nailed it,” said every pigeon ever

Same, little buddy. Same.

My screen protector is holding my life together

text message is arriving in 4K

“I accept cash, card, and tears”

GET BACK HERE, YOU ELUSIVE HAPPY MOLECULE!

He is beauty, he is grace, shark face

The hero

The Airbnb cleaning crew is getting intense

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