How Unicorns are made

he had too many balls in the air

it has stories to tell

never letting go

live laugh lobotomy

i live at the zoo now

avoiding people in public is exhausting

these crocheted dolls will definitely murder you in your sleep

all my problems can be blamed on astrology

don’t give me a reason and i won’t get mad

money on gandalf

ode de febreeze

we spent so much time preparing for the zombie apocalypse we never considered other options…

Waste time with the fallout of amtrak tweeting “trains” with these one word repsonses

purr-fect

there’s no way a home made this soup