I could bathe in the porcelain hammock.

I could bathe in the porcelain hammock.

rip ipod

petting a dog while consoling a child before starting a fight

petting a dog while consoling a child before starting a fight

the honk steals eyebrows

the honk steals eyebrows

if you haven’t already, one day you will

if you haven’t already, one day you will

coping mechanism police

coping mechanism police

choose your nickname

choose your nickname

okay, but this is expert level parking

okay, but this is expert level parking

the bougie man is under the bed!

the bougie man is under the bed!

roomba on the run!

roomba on the run!

let me take your jacket

let me take your jacket

when someone tickles your neck

when someone tickles your neck

i’ve made a terrible mistake

i’ve made a terrible mistake

guilty pets

make sure she can hear you

make sure she can hear you

3 minutes after clipping fingernails

3 minutes after clipping fingernails