You know what you do? You go buy yourself a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. You might be surprised at some of your phrasing.

You know what you do? You go buy yourself a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. You might be surprised at some of your phrasing.

Just got a promotion. I have employees now

Just got a promotion. I have employees now

Sneezing in front of your pets.

Sneezing in front of your pets.

Why don’t they ever get pulled over for this?

Why don’t they ever get pulled over for this?

Volkswagen van for scale

Volkswagen van for scale

Hey mom!

Chocolate Roulette.

Chocolate Roulette.

I need an adult.

I need an adult.

Thanks Obama

Okay, who was the jerk that dropped some molly in my coffee?

Okay, who was the jerk that dropped some molly in my coffee?

Clearly Japan is getting ready for war.

Clearly Japan is getting ready for war.

Violinist, Roger Frisch, plays during brain surgery to find what’s causing his tremors.

Violinist, Roger Frisch, plays during brain surgery to find what’s causing his tremors.

The difference between creepy and cool.

The difference between creepy and cool.

Riddle me this, atheists…

Riddle me this, atheists…

Help. The bad man touched me.

Help. The bad man touched me.

Watching a movie with a parent.

Watching a movie with a parent.