congrats, you’re telepathic

fridge inspector

small talk is a microtransaction.

luxury: blinking without interruption

they built empires, i built a pillow fort

night shift pays well

bee gone, dignity gone too

olympic memes to cheer like a champion

bad at summer, phd

empty habitat

generational besties, officially

too wet

universal translator: “feed me”

midnight snacks? he stole them

say yes, for the soup

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