My favorite sleep position is “blinking too long”

Imagine trying to wrestle a wild prosciutto

My social battery requires literal photosynthesis now

The Airbnb cleaning crew is getting intense

“And Team Canada is currently taking a nap”

I am a solid ten for exactly four minutes

internal monologue needs a serious wellness check

Sleep hygiene means calling backup when necessary

Comfort food? Not here

lack of social skills is now deep philosophy

five stars

my wardrobe has a phenomenal soundtrack

my salad is staring directly into my soul!

hoarder tendencies applied beautifully to digital audio

nothing says “I love you” like avoiding casualties!

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