Winning imaginary arguments against the shampoo bottles

Outdoor dining has never been so aerodynamic

I don’t need a therapist, I need Sarah

Just waiting for the boss fight music to stop

I am definitely Hubris today

vintage and highly collectible

You won’t be arrested, but you’ll be haunted

My plans? Existing in fabulous silence

That bun is staring into my soul

“I’m an open book.” The book:

I have 40 dollars and a giant bird

Zero calories, zero caffeine, zero purpose

Time to pack the bags and move to Mars

My five-year plan is just petting ten thousand dogs

“don’t you dare” birthday party

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