figure escaping

how many breadsticks have to be consumed to get this drip?

the dream life

there is no middle ground

what’s your favorite six word story?

this guy gets it

this dolphin has had enough of your bs

big fork bad

be your own worst enemy

my waistline isn’t worth my happiness

i’ll give it the ‘ole college try

my plants are my children

alpha males don’t watch instructional videos

goosebumps, but for adults

ride the lightning with the Metallica memes because nothing else matters with a new album on the way!

from social warning fantasy to reality