i’m on the phone, sweetie

don’t give me a reason and i won’t get mad

ode de febreeze

money on gandalf

purr-fect

flying is like living in the wild west

forever young

these crocheted dolls will definitely murder you in your sleep

Waste time with the fallout of amtrak tweeting “trains” with these one word repsonses

we spent so much time preparing for the zombie apocalypse we never considered other options…

sea urchins love hats

it has stories to tell

i live at the zoo now

never letting go

would you like a parmesan wheel with your meal?

and they said hollywood was out of ideas