is godzilla… a cat?

taking a break from pickpocketing to warm my bones with a hot drink

It all sounds awful until you remember that statistically flying is still the safest form of travel

no serial killer, ted bundy included, could match wits with me if i really applied by myself instead of binging on oreos

this is how many sides a circle has

the real reason millennials aren’t buying diamonds. Has nothing to do with ethics or morals

jesus was larger than a baby but smaller than a temple. good to know!

toast and butter is an everyday phase

even einstein’s marriage was relative. It consumed his life

who pooped the bed? sounds like an it’s always sunny in philadelphia episode

Best responses to tweet about “mystery flight”

how to beat someone at chess when you’ve never played before

there is no way the ice cream man didn’t see this person

you cicada be kidding me!

you’re not fooling anyone nasa!

you know that you know you’ve seen that actor before