The customer can’t always be right.

this tweet about fire departments feels pretty on point

kermit the dinosaur – how angry does this make you?

just one?

This is a brilliant grandpa move

and they told me the perfect husband doesn’t exist

When you gotta go, you gotta go

you were the chosen one. you were supposed to bring balance to your teeth, not ruin them!

made with hatred – can you add anything to the list?

write the next line of this story

The moon is impossible to photograph on a phone

what do you think could explain the mysterious red lights?

There’s an app for that, which probably doesn’t work in the dead zone known as parking garages

the journey to the final boss therapist is worth it if you’re competitive

this is why i just buy new clothes when all my old ones are dirty

a picture that perfectly represents what being told “i love you as friend” feels like