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ElfOnTheShelf4Hire

ElfOnTheShelf4Hire
need to find my chill faster
need to find my chill faster
unnecessary hashtags
unnecessary hashtags
every saturday
every saturday
one doesn’t just bite the corner off a pizza roll and blow into it
one doesn’t just bite the corner off a pizza roll and blow into it
dislike congress? wolves
dislike congress? wolves
just needs a hug and some anti-depressants
just needs a hug and some anti-depressants
devilishly good
devilishly good
kids make the rules
kids make the rules
be excellent to each other
be excellent to each other
it’s like scientists don’t watch movies at all
it’s like scientists don’t watch movies at all
toddlers wake up and choose violence
toddlers wake up and choose violence
why i don’t own any plants
why i don’t own any plants
been cutting frozen pizza wrong all these years
been cutting frozen pizza wrong all these years
the tactical ferret
the tactical ferret
you went on an adventure
you went on an adventure
A+petrol+station+in+Ireland+for+some+reason.
A petrol station in Ireland for some reason.
I+would+watch+this+sitcom.
I would watch this sitcom.
Good+for+you%2C+though.
Good for you, though.
And+I+rode+through+the+desert+on+a+bear+with+no+arms.
And I rode through the desert on a bear with no arms.
Join the conversation
This+is+what+it%26%238217%3Bs+like+when+teats+collide.
This is what it’s like when teats collide.
That%26%238217%3Bll+do.
That’ll do.
The+good+stuff+is+in+the+details.
The good stuff is in the details.
OM+NOM+NOM
OM NOM NOM
I+need+your+skin%26%238230%3B+for+the+sciences.
I need your skin… for the sciences.
Porcupine+out+for+a+jaunt.
Porcupine out for a jaunt.
%2Ascreams+in+nazi%2A
*screams in nazi*
Someone+started+a+diet.+It+is+not+going+great.
Someone started a diet. It is not going great.