easy directions for a cheap modern day viking funeral

but no matter how much he tries not to, he does eventually talk about crossfit

put me back in 4th grade and I’ll show you how gifted i still am!

say aloe to my little friend

the murderer is one of the people on this train *twirls mustache*

there is no right thing to say. you just have to yell and make the situation as uncomfortable as possible

probably one of the worst things you could say while on the witness stand

another delicious hummuscide

dog humming “in the arms of an angel” after the ultimate betrayal by their human

i am not the old white man you’re looking for

anything is a ufo if you can’t identify it before it hits your face

lets bake cookies and watch documentaries about serial killers together