Random texts

does anyone know how to get chocolate milk out of bedsheets?

there were no witnesses

i’m a sinner, i’m a saint, i do not feel ashamed

don’t even think about it, garfield

and the answer is?

everything is bigger in texas except the rain

i want to touch the forbidden carpet!

forever 31

ancient simpsons

Daniel Radcliffe… i mean weird al memes to waste your time with like a surgeon while you eat it with your polka face

what fish think when you’re fishing

good luck, punks

adding to my vernacular

comrade cat

i think i could at least handle one goose. probably not more