It’s my favorite band, alright?

Nothing out of the ordinary here, just viggo mortensen and a horse eating breakfast together

and they told me the perfect husband doesn’t exist

what do you think could explain the mysterious red lights?

Do you know why I pulled you over, ma’am?

kermit the dinosaur – how angry does this make you?

write the next line of this story

you will pay for your betrayal

the journey to the final boss therapist is worth it if you’re competitive

this is why i just buy new clothes when all my old ones are dirty

how not to tell someone their std test results

just one?

you were the chosen one. you were supposed to bring balance to your teeth, not ruin them!

This is a brilliant grandpa move

made with hatred – can you add anything to the list?

this tweet about fire departments feels pretty on point