He communicates exclusively in dad jokes.

the gift no one wants

centaur exterminators are so effective they’ve basically put themselves out of business

i slept okay

Adorable. 10/10 – would boop

i’m too old for this sh–

your phone always knows

are you awake or ashleighp?

where are my baby back ribs, kevin?

you’re next!

you definitely want to rethink that, kid

bamboozled!

coke classic or bust

back the blue?

it’s healthy to set boundaries

team carrie