This week’s Time cover.

when you hold it to your ear you can hear the grapes crying

what every kid wants for christmas

as long as the bird is okay, everything else is, too

this flesh prison won’t hold me for long

yes, please

i should have texted instead

beer science

send dudes, not nudes

how it started vs how it’s going

classic carrie bradshaw

i move left, they move left. i move right, they move right

how is this not already a thing???

spitting venom

i need to read this essay more than i’ve ever needed anything in my life

Figs are pollinated by wasps. after pollination, figs ‘digest’ the dead left dead inside. knowing this, i still plan to eat fig newtons. they are delicious