The last Qantas 747 flight draws its Patronus before it retired from duty.

how is this not already a thing???

beer science

i should have texted instead

what every kid wants for christmas

yes, please

i need to read this essay more than i’ve ever needed anything in my life

send dudes, not nudes

spitting venom

i move left, they move left. i move right, they move right

Figs are pollinated by wasps. after pollination, figs ‘digest’ the dead left dead inside. knowing this, i still plan to eat fig newtons. they are delicious

as long as the bird is okay, everything else is, too

such a misunderstood creature

time to cry!

when you hold it to your ear you can hear the grapes crying

this flesh prison won’t hold me for long